I FEAR THE HONEYMOON IS OVER!
Well here we are living the
"DREAM"
wait a minute we're in college, The dream will have to wait a few years down that old rocky road..
I was still in LaLa land and reality was about to bite me pretty hard in the old "KIESTER". We were living on BYU campus in the lovely--
Wymount Terrace.
Or as we affectionately referred to it, the
"Rabbit Hutches" for obvious reasons.
Our apartment is the one with the red dot.
We really did love it here. So many treasured memories.
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It was here that I got hit with a huge dose of reality. Jay and I were both going to school full time, which with two kids was a huge task in itself. But put BYU football on top of that and you really have something. We were used to a small JC football program, things were very different in a huge Division one program. we were in the
"BIGS" now, and I learned what the term
"FOOTBALL WIDOW"
really meant, and I wasn't liking it one bit.... I missed Jay so much, and I was feeling so lonely overwhelmed, and sorry for myself. I needed my best friends big shoulder to cry on, but that was Jay and he was a little scarce these days.
Anyone that thinks football is ONLY a fall sport is seriously MISTAKEN.
It's year round, 24 hours a day, grueling, painful, rewarding etc, etc, etc... You get the picture..Here I was with my two babies and no husband..
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1981 "Hunka, Hunka Burnin' Love..."
For the first time in my marriage my heart was aching for those big strong arms wrapped around me. Jay was spending most of his time in school, on road trips, on the practice field, the field house or (his favorite place) the football training table at the Cannon center. Did I mention that all scholarship players eat in the training table during the season..
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1982
One day a few of us wives decided to go and see are husbands in between practices, I was exposed to something I had never witnessed before in my life and truly hoped I would never witness again.
I found my husband already sitting down to enjoy his evening meal. so I took a seat beside him when I noticed one of the offensive lineman (who shall remain nameless, for obvious reasons) walking towards us, nothing seemed out of the ordinary until he approached the table and sat down directly across from me. I noticed that he didn't bother to put a plate on his tray.
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he just loaded his food right onto the tray with more food than I had ever seen, I couldn't believe my eyes but this was nothing compared to what was coming. He had 2 forks one for each hand and he just started shoveling in the food never even looking up. I kept looking over at Jay to see if he was also in amazement of the event we were witnessing, but he didn't skip a beat. Apparently this was normal behavior at training table. Needless to say I didn't ever visit during mealtime ever again.
1983 What a "HANDSOME" Guy
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Well here I was so overwhelmed with LIFE in general.. What is it they say? when you're feeling overwhelmed add more and you will feel more grateful. Well I had enough of feeling GRATEFUL
but I guess the Lord didn't think so, Because here comes a whole heap of a lot
MORE.
My thoughts-----
PLEASE STOP THIS ROLLER COASTER, I WANT TO GET OFF.
That life I thought I was so in control of had spun so far out of control I didn't know if I was coming or going.
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JUST KEEP ON KEEPING ON
Thanks for taking this walk down memory lane with me, It has been so much fun going through old pictures and remembering the events that have shaped our lives.. It has truly reminded me that we are not really in control of our lives at all. I can see the Hand of Our Lord and Savior in every chapter of our lives.
Beginning to adjust to the new life here in "Happy Valley"
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Jay hooked back up with one of his old high school friends/team-mates, Kevin Walker. Kevin and Jay played ball together at Granite and now they would get that opportunity to do it again at BYU.
Kevin had been playing at BYU for 3 years so he took Jay under his wing and showed him the ropes. Kevin and his wife Troy lived one stairwell over and we immediately became good friends. Troy helped to fill the lonely hours at the end of the day.
We would sit out on the grassy area at Wymount and just talk while our little ones played together, and we exchanged babysitting which was so great.. What a blessing it was to finally have a friend that understood my plight, and Troy Walker certainly did.
Jackson was 2 1/2 and Jayson 1 1/2. I was almost done with school and feeling pretty good about things.
NO UN-EXPECTED happenings so far...
I guess I should have known better than to really think that it could ever be smooth sailing, why would it be, this was our life. Nothing easy about it.. Jay was called to serve in the Elders Quorum presidency
(DIDN'T THE LORD KNOW THAT JAY ALREADY HAD A FULL PLATE.)
Well I guess not because the "GROWTH" opportunities just kept on coming.
Jay loved football, but Jay loved weightlifting more (if that's possible) he and some of his
team-mates would sneak into the weight room on holidays and after hours just to get a little more time in. I guess that's how you become the strongest guy on the team..
515 pound bench press, pretty impressive...
Well as we all know there are inherent risks involved with weight training, we found that out one day when Jay had a terrible accident in the weight room during the regular team workout.
Luckily it was during the off-season and there would be time to mend before the season started. But it seemed like a long road to recovery. so many hours spent in treatment and re-hab.
This was a pretty good wrench thrown into the works why not add another.. You guessed it.
I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.
I swear I really don't know how this happened, I really DON'T. The plan was to finish college then finish the family. Right?
But boy I sure am glad we didn't wait, I wasn't feeling that way then, but it sure did work out for the best, as things always did.
Look at my beautiful baby Jordan Reed Linford. I can't even imagine what life would have been like without him. Once he arrived Jay and I both wondered how we ever survived without our precious blue eyed boy.
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other people would and did consider this to be a trial 3 kids at such a young age, I suppose there were times when I did too, but Jay never did. He was always the calming voice of reason.
Just ROLL with the PUNCHES.
that's just the way he did and does live his life,
"GLASS ALWAYS HALF FULL"
kinda guy. I love that about Jay.
I truly think that's why the Lord sent him to me, I definitely needed someone to keep me grounded and sane. He kept and still does keep me on track, he is my true north.
Isn't true love great, I'm so grateful to have it.
I love my gorgeous guys, all 4 of them
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Beginning to feel a little out numbered though..
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WHY NOT ADD A PETUNIA TO THE ONION PATCH!
DISCLAIMER: Jay finished the last half of this post. I claim no responsibility for it.
Today I looked at Jay sitting on the stand, dressed in his beige suit, with his very sharp coordinating tie and I thought to myself what a lucky girl I am to be married to such a good man. As I have been going through our memories , each picture I look at takes me back to a specific time and place of happiness in my life. What a blessing it has been to have such an amazing person by my side through it all.
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No more of this one parent per child thing.
We really needed one more set of arms, I guess it's a good thing that Jay's are very large, It seems that at this point in our life he always had one child in each arm. 3 boys under the age of 4 was sometimes a large chore to handle. It was becoming quite a challenging task just to get out the door. but we seemed to manage.
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The picture below depicts how we both felt after a long day of tag teaming 3 very energetic boys. I love this man so much, I never could have gotten through this life without him.
I got half way through this post and decided that I am running out of gas, my brain is over wrought
and it needs a short break so I am turning the rest of this post over to Jay to finish. I'll be back tomorrow...This ought to be interesting.
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The real story of the picture you see above is me resting after chasing that cute little wife of mine around the apartment trying to procreate our beautiful little girl.
And you can see by the look on my face in the picture below that I am very pleased with my self for the success I achieved. We were told by the doctor that the next baby was going to be a boy. Well I was perfectly fine with that with four boys I could at least form a basketball team with me as one of the players.
Then it happened in a flash. The doctor said
"It's a Girl"
I wasn't sure what to do or what to expect. There she was this perfect little angel and when I looked at my beautiful wife it made me love her in a new and different way, she had been such an amazing wife and mother to the boys. Already in the hospital I knew it was going to be a little different for all of us.
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As you can see from the very first sign of hair Allie couldn't wait to start doing Ashley's hair. A whole new relationship was forming. I never saw before how much different both a mother and a father relate to a daughter than to sons. I have to admit that I did wrestle with her, I had not yet been taught how to play with dolls or seen her play house.
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This is "The Lonely Little Petunia in The Onion Patch"!!
You can tell by the clothes that we were poor students Allie sewed about 50% of what the kids wore. It was about this time we figured out what was causing a baby every year, and decided we have our girl that's enough!!
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At this point in our lives we were starting to figure out that we did not know everything! I had no idea just what an amazing woman I married!! I had been so busy with football and school that when I finally stopped to look around I was married to this amazing woman who was every man's dream. She had carried more than her share of the burden of the family and done an amazing job. Our children were well behaved and were growing in the gospel and my wife was a loving supportive woman who was also the hottest girl I knew.
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And the Saga continues.......................
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THE END OF AN ERA WHAT LIES AHEAD?
Ok I am taking my blog back from Jay after that post, He will no longer be permitted to contribute..
I don't know at what point it happened but it did happen. Somewhere along the road Jay's perspective changed. He was now playing football simply to get his education paid for. he went from being a carefree, fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants kind of guy to actually wanting to do well in school.. And well he did do.
I think reality had really hit him hard 4 kids now and he needed to have a good solid option for the future. Jay was playing his last football season and he needed to get accepted into BYU's business school. his GPA 3.8 good enough because he got in and became one of those very serious students.
The 1983 BYU Football season ended and so did Jay's college football career. Now he could concentrate on that degree, no more football to get in the way..
I always knew that Jay wanted the opportunity to play football on the next level, but I never dreamed it could ever be a reality for him. He tested for the NFL and had all of his stats recorded, speed, strength, etc. They were
"IMPRESSIVE"
to say the least. Of course we both knew he wouldn't be drafted but some of his team-mates talked him into hiring an agent and becoming a "FREE AGENT" at least then he would know if his dream could become a reality. Again I never thought anything would come of it. After all Jay hadn't been what you might call a "MARQUEE" Player.
Well one day the phone rang, I answered it, the voice on the other end of the line was one I didn't recognize she informed me that she was calling from Western Pro Sports Incorporated, and she had Phil Vickers on the line for Jay Linford. Phil Vickers, was Jay's agent.
WHAT THE HECK!
I remember watching him through this conversation with his agent. I didn't know what Phil was telling him, JUST A LOT OF LISTENING on Jay's side, but I knew it was good because of the expression on his face, Jay was ecstatic. When he hung up the phone he walked over to where I was sitting, put his arms around me, and gently whispered in my ear---
"TAMPA BAY WANTS ME"
When he whispered in my ear I felt my heart sink, it was not a good feeling.
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Jay was going to be a "Bucc"
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I should have been happy but I felt such a feeling of despair. I really don't know why because I thought I wanted this too. But that was back before we had a FULL ON family.
I really needed him, and I knew what this kind of life would offer, and I wasn't sure It was going to be good for me.
The old Tampa colors.
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I told Jay about my fears, he decided he needed to talk to someone much older and wiser than either of us. Some advice from an outside source would be helpful. Of course that person was always his Dad, I thought this was a good Idea. For sure his Dad would side with me, he was always such a strong voice of reason, but to my dismay he was as excited as Jay was and told him to go for it.
"BUMMER"
This all took place in April and Jay would need to report to "Training Camp"on May 7th. Not much time to adjust. Camp went for a full month,
"NO WIVES ALLOWED."
So I guess I would be spending Mothers Day alone this year.Well as you can see Jay signed the contract, he was now officially a member of the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers Football Team!!
WooHoo!!! NOT...
I was on my own again and really missing Jay, we had only been married 5 years and I had never been without him for such long periods of time. We did everything together, it was always
JAY and ME
now it was just ME...
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This made things a little easier. Jay's first check, more money than Jay had ever made in one week. We were used to living on scholarship checks and summer jobs, so needless to say this weekly check would help.
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Tampa Stadium 1976 to 1997
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Still struggling with my station in life. I really needed my guy back in my arms..
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Even to this day Jay and I still love the old Bucc uniforms.
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I decided I loved my 'SWEETHEART" enough to let him have his dream.. And I knew he would never stand in the way of any dream I had.
It's all Good..
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TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON!
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.
I remember the day I received the dreaded phone call, the call I always knew would someday come, because they always do.
I knew when I heard the tone of Jay's voice on the other end of the line, that he was going to tell me that it was finally over.
Tampa had been able to sign a player that was all pro, the great Dave Logan who they had been trying to sign for a very long time, and in order to pay his salary they would need to cut 3 players Jay being one of them.
By this time I had adjusted to this life and was looking forward to many more years of being a
"Players Wife"
But now it was all over and I felt SICK inside... I was worried about Jay and how this would effect him. Phil (his agent) paid us a visit with good news,
San Francisco wanted to give him a shot.
I was shocked to hear Jay tell Phil that it was over, and that he didn't want to be bounced around from team to team just to end up on waivers or getting cut like so many of his friends. He had his opportunity and he took it, it was an amazing experience, a chance of a lifetime and he was forever grateful for it, but it was simply over. He decided that it was time to do what really mattered.
HUSBAND and DADDY!!!
And that was the last we ever heard from Phil Vickers...
Football had been a major part of our lives and our marriage, and it had been a huge part of Jays life, he had been playing the game for 10 years, it was part of who he was. Something changed in Jay that day, I could see it in his eyes, It hurt deep down inside. We both shed quite a few tears that week,and I wondered if he would ever be the same....
TO EVERYTHING THERE IS A SEASON,AND A TIME TO EVERY PURPOSE UNDER HEAVEN.
There was a season and a time for football, but that season was to be no more, but I think we both knew it was only over for a
"TIME"------ A "SEASON" if you will.... not forever.
I finally had my "GUY" back by my side and it felt "GOOD" Jay graduated form BYU and I was Proud!!!! He looked so handsome in that cap and gown.
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We had changed so much from that day that we first stepped foot onto BYU campus. We were just kids then (we weren't even legal adults yet) so much life ahead and so much yet to learn.
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"GOAL ACCOMPLISHED"
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WE DID IT TOGETHER... We defied the odds. Like I said it's always been
JAY and ME....
We closed that chapter in our lives, goodbye to our beloved BYU. We didn't know it then but one day we would return back here, right where it all started, to this place where we became an "US" To this place we LOVED so much. This time it would be in a very different capacity. We will always "BLEED BLUE".
I LOVE LOVE LOVE BYU. That beautiful campus holds so many dear, and cherished memories for me and my sweetheart and I believe it always will.
these pictures were taken just weeks before our move into our new home.
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Jackson 7 years old, Jayson 6 Years old, Jordan 4 years old, and Ashley 3 years old. 4 kids in 4 1/2 years, now there's a feat....We had gone 3 years with no more babies born. I guess Jay was right we did figure it out. WHEW....
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We bought our first home in Heather Ridge located in north east Orem, It was a beautiful home in the "SWEETEST" neighborhood. And life took on a whole new form... For our little "Brood."
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I TURN TO YOU!
I found this picture tucked away in one of my yearbooks. I know it's way out of order but I just love this picture. I don't know how I missed it, I think it's so darn cute... Jay is so HANDSOME! I know exactly why I was smitten with him. He looks the same today just with less hair..Not a lot of men can make that claim. I love a man in a suit.
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Well back to our story... We were now fully engulfed in 'REAL LIFE' in a
REAL NEIGHBORHOOD"
Complete with Cub scouts, PTA, Coach Pitch, Wrestling, and Soccer, etc..And loving life.
After graduation Jay took a sales job with a company out of Dallas, Texas. As usual Jay was doing well in his new occupation, and we had all adjusted well to our new
"Leave it to Beaver" life. Jay had been working hard and doing quite well climbing the corporate ladder, when he received a phone call from an old college friend, Welcome Sauer. Welcome and Jay were in the Business program together at BYU, they worked on many projects together while there. He was a district manager for a large company out of Chicago and they were looking for someone to head up the western US.
Jay's name had come up many times and so they sent Welcome out to see if Jay was interested in interviewing for the position.
OF COURSE HE WAS
a salary increase, an expense account, a company car, a great benefit package, and an opportunity to work with his old friend Welcome. He took the job and within months he took his territory to levels that corporate had never before seen. Needless to say He was awarded----
~1989 ROOKIE OF THE YEAR~
WooHoo
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I remember days that I just felt so overwhelmed, for no good reason. (type A personality)
A new house, play dates, home work, lessons, and practices----- 4 kids a lot going on. Jay would walk through the door and take one look at me and without saying a word he just knew it had been
"ONE OF THOSE DAYS"...
If the truth were known many of "THOSE KIND OF DAYS" of mine were also
"THOSE KIND OF DAYS" for Jay but I never knew it.
He would round up the gang, load them in the car and head out to BYU campus. The maeser building to play sardines, the gymnastic room to play in the foam pit, the field house for basketball, wrestling, or hide and seek, and the botany park just to lay back and chill.
1 DADDY 4 KIDS didn't seem to bother Jay. In fact he loved the opportunity to have the time with his favorite people. And the feeling was always mutual. DADDY was definitely the FAVORITE parent in our house and was also the FAVORITE parent in the neighborhood. Whenever he was outside playing with our kids, it only took a few minutes until most of neighborhood kids would join in.
I remember the day Jay decided to build a Go-Cart, with the help of the kids of course. It was a beautiful little cart, but Jay decided he should try it out first. So he hopped on his little cart, so proud of the job he had done, and headed down Moore Lane, (which had a pretty good down grade to it) Kids chasing behind and cheering him on. The next thing I knew, there was Jay sitting on the cart with about 10 kids pushing him back up the hill....
HE FORGOT TO PUT ON ANY KIND OF BRAKING SYSTEM.
He was going so fast and heading for a house and put this foot out to stop and----- You Guessed It, He broke his foot....
Just one of many things I love about Jay, you really never know what is coming...
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Jay is such a "Goof"
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Jay and I in Key West Florida. Jays company paid for this vacation as a reward for the high volume of sales he had that year. He was making them money hand over fist and they were grateful., and So was I...I always looked forward to these romantic get-a-ways with just the 2 of us, so much fun .. If ya know what I mean.
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WHERE DID THE TIME GO?
I will briefly touch over the next few years which is really all about the kids anyway. I promised myself that these 14 days of posts would not turn into posts about my kids. Then I realized part of what makes our love so STRONG, SPECIAL, and UNIQUE involves them, our GREATEST BLESSINGS, our wonderful CHILDREN..
The next few years involved spending a lot of time bonding our love through our children
(OUR GREATEST ACCOMPLISHMENTS)
I remember the joy Jay and I felt when Jayson hit his first ball out of the park right SMACK into Orem center street, much harder and it would have been in the Smith's parking lot. Little did we know this would only be one of many, many more to grace that street.
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Jayson
We had the thrill of Watching Jackson throw his first "Cow Catcher" on an opponent and knowing that "THAT WAS ALL SHE WROTE" and watching him move onto the Varsity team as a freshman, and place in State. Just the beginning of many state tournaments for Jackson.
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Jackson
No one can describe the joy Jay felt when Jordan carried the football into the end zone for the touchdown with three members of the opposing team hanging on him. AINT NOTHING STOPPING THAT KID. How excited we both were when he was invited to play on the varsity team as a freshman.
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Jordan
I knew that Jay loved to spend his time in sporting events (To this day he still can't get enough of those) but I wondered how I was going to get him to sit all day long at a cheerleading or dance competition. What I didn't realize is that for Jay it wasn't just about the event he was watching but it was more about who he was watching. It finally hit me that he actually liked watching Ashley preform and I guess he was really paying attention.
He surprised me one day as we were watching her compete in an individual competition, he leaned over to me and said
"That's an amazing heal stretch."
How in the heck did he know what a heal stretch was, let alone that it was amazing. Well he knew because he didn't just go through the motion of watching her compete and preform he was learning what made her tick. BTW our little girl was not only a state champion but also a 4th. place in individual cheerleading nationals.
I remember the day Jackson left for the New Hampshire, Manchester mission, talk about bitter sweet, the first one to leave the nest----HARD. The really hard part about that was Jayson left that same year for Utah State. Following in his Daddy's footsteps. He would be playing football there (Jay's first college coach at Snow, Dave Arslanian would also be Jayson's college coach).
When those 2 boys left our home, Jay and I both knew that they would never really return. Sniff, Sniff, and heartache for me.
Of course it wasn't too much longer before Jayson would head out to Florida to serve in the Florida, Orlando mission. And right behind him was Jordan on his way to the California, San Fernando mission.
Oh Ache----My house was emptying out way too fast.
The following year Ashley received a dance Scholarship to Utah.
(THE ULTIMATE BETRAYAL) Utah!!!
How could we let our daughter attend that school. Well it didn't take long for us to get on board. Help with tuition? That thrilled us no matter what color she would be wearing. And an opportunity to watch her dance yet again. We just wished she didn't have to wear so much RED....
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Ashley
I remember the day we dropped her off at school, it was one of the hardest days of my life. I had thought about it for the weeks prior to her leaving and felt like I could handle it, but I was not prepared at all for what was ahead of me.
Jay and I helped her unload her stuff, as we were carrying boxes up to her dorm room I could feel myself losing it. Trying to hide the tears and the anguish of leaving my last child was extremely hard.
We unloaded the last box and took a little walk around campus and now it was time to say "GOODBYE" to our baby I gave her a hug desperately trying to hold in my emotions, and Then Jay had his turn to say his goodbye's. I watched him put his great big arms around her and give one of those hugs that she loves so much, he was holding on tight, as if he never wanted to let go. And then in "Good Old Ashley" fashion she said I love you Daddy, Our confidant little girl was ready to start her new life and she really didn't need us in getting in her way.
Jay finally "reluctantly" let go of her and we were on our way.
I swear that was the longest walk back to the truck we have ever taken. Not a word was exchanged by either of us. We climbed into the truck and sat there for a moment no words were spoken, no words were needed, we looked at each other and then it happened. We both started to cry.
Where has the time gone, how would we fill it now. for the last 19 years our WORLD had revolved around these kids and now they were gone--- ALL GONE...
How could we go back to that house so empty and lonely. We had spent the last 10 years cheering our kids on in football stadiums, wrestling arenas, basketball stands, baseball diamonds, track fields, and in auditoriums. We were both hurting A LOT!
We had an "EMPTY NEST" and we were not liking it very much...
OR WERE WE?
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TOO YOUNG TO BE EMPTY NESTERS!!
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For the first time in our marriage, (That's right first time) We were on our own, alone. No more curfew's no more homework, no more spending the weekends at the high school at sporting events. No more crazy teenage party's to chaperone.
Another chapter of our life comes to an end..
You would think we would be happy about this, but we both felt a little empty inside, we were just too young to be at this stage so soon in our lives, 41 years old and on our own for the first time.
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There is life after kids.
Here's a little review in Pictures...Not necessarily in order
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Time to get to know each other all over again.
And that's exactly what we did.
Jay was called to serve as Bishop in the BYU 6th. ward. I guess the Lord knew we needed to have our lives and our home filled up in his work.
140th. Ward Bishopric
Brother Paul Picard, Bishop Jay Linford, Brother Jeff Larson
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